so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
