sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
