Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
