yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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