no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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