a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
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All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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