My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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