Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
