would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
