omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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