brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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