non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
