Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
