I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
