I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
