i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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