ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
