just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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