PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
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Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
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She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize