Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
