i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
