I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
