Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
