ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
