I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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