3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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