she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Found your dick twin last night
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
