I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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