Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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