he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Drake has all the answers
It was a blind-side dick pic.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
