After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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