you turned your livingroom into a bong?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
