In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
