Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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