I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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