What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Randomize
