they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
