Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
