Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize