I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My bed smells like the plague
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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