i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This baby is an asshole
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
