So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
