Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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