he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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