Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
After last night, I could never be a politician.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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