well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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