ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
