Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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