Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
