Betty ford says i'm here all night
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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