omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
