Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
it hurts more in the daytime
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
