Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
