No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize