She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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