If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
