Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
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Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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