I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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