Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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